Saturday, March 5, 2011

Don’t Worry, Be Happy: Unemployment Is Down, The Stock Market Is Up And The Economy Is Going To Be Just Fine

The American Dream

Haven’t you heard?  The coming economic collapse has officially been canceled.  The U.S. economy is in full recovery mode.  It has just been announced that the U.S. unemployment rate fell to 8.9% in February.  That was the third monthly decline in a row.  192,000 new jobs were created in the U.S. during February.  That was the fifth month in a row in which the U.S. economy has gained jobs.  Corporate profits are way up.  For the most recent month that numbers are available, sales of GM vehicles were up 49%, sales of Chrysler vehicles were up 13%, and sales of Ford vehicles were up 10%.  Can’t you see?  The great American economic machine has roared back to life.  The stock market is way up this year.  The recession is over.  Our financial system is more stable than ever.  Pretty soon all Americans that want jobs are going to be able to get jobs and all of our government debts are going to be paid off.  The greatest days for the U.S. economy are just around the corner.  So don’t worry, be happy.

Don’t worry, be happy – the U.S. unemployment rate is falling and it will continue to fall.  Don’t be concerned that according to Gallup, the U.S. unemployment rate actually rose to 10.3% at the end of February.  Everyone knows that U.S. government numbers are far more accurate than the numbers that Gallup puts out.  Just don’t pay any attention to the “doom and gloomers” and just keep on watching American Idol.  Very soon there will be plenty of jobs for everyone.


Don’t worry, be happy – globalism is doing wonderful things for the U.S. economy.  Just look at all the incredibly cheap products from foreign nations such as China that are available in our stores.  Do you think that all of this stuff would be so cheap if we didn’t have free trade?  We may have a massive “trade imbalance” right now, but this is just temporary as we transition over to a one world economy.  The job losses may look bad right now, but once our wage levels go down low enough we will be able to export more stuff to the rest of the world.  So don’t be alarmed when the “protectionists” tell you that between December 2000 and December 2010, 38 percent of the manufacturing jobs in Ohio were lost, 42 percent of the manufacturing jobs in North Carolina were lost and 48 percent of the manufacturing jobs in Michigan were lost.  Those workers just need to get more “education” so that they can be competitive in today’s global economy.  And please don’t listen to people like Alan Blinder, an economist at Princeton, who is projecting that offshoring will ulti­mately affect up to 40 million American jobs.  The truth is that there are many jobs that simply cannot be outsourced.  For example, workers over in China and India will never be able to flip the burgers that need flipping here in the United States and they will never be able to welcome people to your local Wal-Marts.

Don’t worry, be happy – the fact that the number of Americans on food stamps has set another new all-time high (44 million) is just an indication that more Americans are learning how to use government services.  At some point this number will start to go down as the U.S. economy roars back to life.

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

All lies. Why not just up the ante and say the unemployment rate is 5%? The last job I applied for had 440 applicants, many of whom had Phd's, for the whopping non-living wage figure of 35K.

Even if jobs are added, the question begs--what kind, and how much per hour? $8?

Anonymous said...

I always assume the exact opposite of what the government says is the truth. I'm correct much more often than not that way.

Howard T. Lewis III said...

I believe that the world can now see that Americans alienated from their government really are a peaceful decent people and just as capable of being suckered by wealthy industrialist sock-puppets like Pres. Dover.

louisehannah01 said...

I hope to see ALL nations rise up against their governments and create a world that we WANT to live in rather then a world they want us to live in.....it is our call people not theirs so what are we gonna do about it?

Anonymous said...

You do know the guy who wrote "Don't worry, be happy" shot himself... right? o.O have a great day.

Anonymous said...

Yeah but if you go to any Seattle burger/taco joint you will see one Mexican at the counter who can almost speak good English and 5 to 8 flipping those burgers who can't speak or understand a word of English.

Anonymous said...

The guy who wrote that song. Didnt shoot himself. so now i dont believe anything you say... begs me to ask... have you even been to Seattle?

Anonymous said...

Bobby McFerrin

Alive, well, and happy at 60

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