|Emily Banting and
Leigh Van Bryan via DailyMail
Homeland Security is making more enemies after seizing two British tourists over ridiculously misconstrued tweets. Leigh Van Bryan, age 26, tweeted to a friend that he was free to talk before he was going to “destroy” America. He was excited to visit Hollywood and perform the British slang “destroy,” which is to party hard and “get trashed.”
For federal agents to detain and arrest him and his travel companion, Emily Banting, is akin to raiding someone because they used the term “hit-up a friend’s house.” His other tweet in question was: “3 weeks today, we’re totally in LA p****** people off on Hollywood Blvd and diggin’ Marilyn Monroe up!” This was only an out-of-context quote from TV comedy Family Guy, nothing more. But it was enough for agents to tear apart and search their luggage looking for literal shovels.
“It’s just so ridiculous it’s almost funny but at the time it was really scary,” Bryan said. “The Homeland Security agents were treating me like some kind of terrorist.”
Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the nightmare for the two “terror suspects.”
DHS sets up false accounts and scans for “sensitive” words to track the offenders. Byran had been tracked and flagged by them. The pair made it through Los Angeles International (LAX) Airport’s passport control but were then seized by armed guards for planning to “commit crimes.”
His explanation of the terms brought no common sense from the agents or any type of acquittal. Bryan said, “I kept saying to them they had got the wrong meaning from my tweet but they just told me ‘you’ve really f***** up with that tweet boy.’”
That’s when they looked through the suitcases for digging equipment, holding Banting just as fully responsible for being the “look out” or accomplice, while Bryan was to theoretically dig up Monroe’s corpse. Banting, 24, had to choke back laughter at the imagery. She was put through a full-body search and their passports were taken.
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They were interrogated for five hours, handcuffed, and locked up in separate cells overnight with illegal immigrants. In the van ride, Bryan was put in a cage where he suffered a panic attack. In the prison cell, Mexican coke dealers took his food. During the whole ordeal he had nothing but a prison juice box for sustenance.
They were eventually deported and sent to…Paris?
Electronic Privacy Information Center enacted a FOIA for DHS to disclose more about their scans. Some words DHS scans for are: drill, virus, trojan, illegal immigrant, deaths, outbreak, human to animal, strain, and recovery. They must scan lots of news updates. So far, EPIC’s request has been ignored, but it’s probably safe to consider “destroy” and “dig” a part of that list.
According to RT.com, not only did Homeland Security not figure on cultural barriers, but Monroe is encased in a stone crypt in Los Angeles. Russian Television also joked, If the decomposed corpse of Marilyn Monroe is robbed from the grave, the terrorists have won.
Banting stated, “We just wanted to have a good time on holiday. That was all Leigh meant in his tweet. He would not hurt anyone.”
These two came to America to party like rock stars, and all they got were terror charge sheets. Do you think they’ll ever come to “party” America again?