Let’s go ahead and clear a few things up.
Homeschool moms are not all the same.
We are not following some secret handbook.
There is no group chat where we all agree on how to teach fractions or what counts as “enough” for the day.
We are just moms… who chose a different way to live and learn with our kids.
And somehow, that turns us into a public discussion topic.
So before you ask questions, make assumptions, or tilt your head slightly and say, “I could never do that,” here are a few things you should know.
Most homeschool moms have had to answer the same questions, defend the same choices, and explain the same things more times than we can count.
The Homeschool Mom is, to many, a strange, elusive being. There are 10 {at least} things you should know about this fascinating creature. It should go without saying – but it probably doesn’t – that I don’t speak for all homeschool moms. It just seemed more fun to me to write in the “we” voice. You know, as if I were speaking for me and my posse.
So, if you’re a homeschool mom and some of these don’t apply to you, that’s okay. I’m really not speaking for all of us. If you’re not a homeschool mom, don’t think these ten things apply to every homeschool mom because they don’t. And, you homeschool dads? Well, you’re even more elusive a being than us homeschool moms, so you’ll have to speak for yourselves, but some of these may apply to you, too.
Oh, one last crucial point – this is supposed to be fun and slightly amusing. If you get offended you read this list, you’re probably taking it too seriously.
1. We don’t have superhuman patience.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Homeschool moms do not have super-human patience. This patience thing is a MYTH. Yes, in all caps, as if I am yelling at you from the other side of my computer screen. Not true. False. Stereotype.
We have limits.
We have moments where someone asks the same question again, and we briefly consider walking into another room and starting a new life.
We have days where nothing lands, no one listens, and we are absolutely done by 10:42 a.m.
Patience isn’t something we were born with.
It’s something we rebuild… over and over… because we’re still here.
As one homeschool mom commented on my Public School Parents’ Guide to Homeschooling Parents post, “You don’t have enough patience to homeschool? Neither do I!”
(And hey—before I forget to mention, don’t miss the Mother’s Day giveaway at the bottom. It’s a good one.)
2. We don’t have a teaching degree.
Well, some of us do, but most of us don’t. A few homeschool moms with teaching degrees have told me the degree is helpful. Most tell me that it’s more of a hindrance when it comes to teaching your own children.
We’re working with our own kids… learning their pace, their personality, what works, and what absolutely does not.
We figure it out.
We adjust.
We find what helps.
See, a teaching degree prepares a person for how to teach a classroom full of kids. It doesn’t really cover what to teach. And with an unbelievably varied source of homeschooling materials from which to choose today, the what to teach isn’t an issue. And, with excellent instructor guides and a fierce commitment to give our kids a quality education, we’ve got the how-to-teach covered, too.
The world really is our classroom – and what a fantastic classroom it is.
3. It annoys us when you tell us everything that’s wrong with homeschooling.
I’m not usually so blunt, but there you go. When you corner us in the grocery store or the checkout lane at Wal-Mart, or come to our blogs and tell us all the things that you think are wrong with homeschooling? That’s annoying.
We’ve heard it.
All of it.
Socialization.
Gaps.
“Are you qualified?”
“What about high school?”
Most of us have already wrestled through those questions long before anyone else brought them up.
So when it comes out casually in conversation, it doesn’t feel helpful.
It just feels… unnecessary.
Unless you’re someone with a vested interest in our lives who actually knows something about homeschooling. {You know, other than knowing that one homeschooling family that lived next to your aunt’s cousin’s sister that one time.}
Otherwise, we’d just as soon you keep your negative opinions about homeschooling to yourself. You know, in case you wondered. That’s mostly because the opinion of a complete stranger probably isn’t going to change our minds. And the fact that we don’t corner you to bad-mouth your family’s educational choices.
4. Some of us homeschool moms are domestically-challenged.
Let’s just say it.
Not all homeschool moms:
- bake bread
- grow gardens
- keep spotless homes
- run perfectly color-coded systems
Some of us are juggling meals, laundry, learning, and life… and calling it a win when everyone ate, and something got taught.
It’s not always pretty.
But it’s real.
I can cook, and I can sew a button back on a piece of clothing. It might not look great, but it would be on there. My house doesn’t get cleaned as often as it should. And, my farm is called “Live and Learn Farm” for a reason. We make a lot of mistakes … but we are all on a lifelong journey of learning.
I know I’m not alone. We don’t all grind our own wheat, bake our own bread, and maintain small, self-sustaining farms. {But, honestly, that last part is what we are developing now. I am starting a regenerative farm raising grass-fed beef and free-range chickens and eggs.}
(Also, seriously… scroll down when you’re done. I’ve got a Mother’s Day giveaway waiting for you down there, and you’re going to want in on it.)
5. We are learning right along with our kids.
We don’t know it all, and most of us don’t claim to. (Some of us do claim to know it all, but I bet you’ve met some public or private school moms like that, too. We find those know-it-all moms as annoying as you do.)
That’s one of the great things about homeschooling – we can learn alongside our kids. Doing so allows us to expand our knowledge and shows our kids that learning never stops.
We Google things.
We say, “I don’t know.”
We figure it out together.
And that matters.
Because our kids are watching what it looks like to keep learning… even when it’s not easy.
6. Algebra terrifies homeschool moms.
Okay, I know there are those math nuts out there shouting at their computer screens right now. I’m sorry. I’m speaking for the math-phobic camp now. Algebra terrifies us. Or maybe it’s chemistry, physics, or trigonometry.
Those high school math and science courses can strike fear in the hearts of many homeschool moms, but there are lots of ways to homeschool high school and make sure our kids learn what they need to know, even if it’s something that we struggled with in school.
And, then there’s always that “learning alongside the kids” thing. Sometimes we discover that some of those difficult subjects make a little more sense the second time around. Especially if there is a teacher’s manual involved. Or Google. Or Grok. Grok and I are pretty tight.
7. Sometimes we lie awake at night worrying that we’re ruining our kids.
This one doesn’t get talked about enough.
Sometimes fear and doubt strike. It’s usually late at night when the house is quiet, and we’re lying awake unable to sleep. Maybe those things you said to us on our blogs or in the checkout line at Wal-mart start buzzing in our heads.
Maybe it’s our own sense of inadequacy or the magnitude of the fact that our kids’ education rests squarely on our shoulders. Perhaps it’s the thought that our kids might decide to blame everything that ever goes wrong in their lives on the fact that we homeschooled them.
Maybe it’s just indigestion.
Whatever it is, there are those nights when we toss and turn, worrying that maybe all our doubts and fears will come true. Most times, though, we wake up in the morning and realize that there will be inadequacies no matter how our kids are educated and that we really are doing okay. And sometimes, we realize that there may be areas of weakness that we need to shore up in our kids or areas in which we, the parents, need to be more intentional, and we take steps to make that happen.
And we remember the things for which we blame our parents and realize that some of that is just human nature and has little to do with educational choices.
(Side note: a grouip of us homeschoolers have put together a Mother’s Day giveaway for you at the bottom of this post. Don’t miss it—you deserve something fun too.)
8. We sometimes make mistakes.
We’re human.
Sometimes we mess up.
I mean, when I was in school, poor Pluto was still a planet, and there were only four oceans. So let’s not pretend everything we learned was flawless either.
This goes right back to not knowing it all.
We get things wrong.
We miss things.
We have moments where we realize, “Oh… we should probably revisit that.”
And honestly? These are teachable moments when we make mistakes.
Because our kids see it.
They see what it looks like to:
- admit it
- fix it
- and keep going
As long as we’re learning from our mistakes (and helping them do the same), those “mess-ups” aren’t failures.
They’re part of the process.
9. We really aren’t trying to ruin our kids.
Really.
We didn’t wake up one day and think, “You know what would be fun? Let’s completely derail our children’s future.”
This wasn’t a careless decision.
We thought about it.
We wrestled with it.
We chose it… on purpose.
We’re doing what we believe is best for our kids.
Not yours.
And we’re not sitting around judging your choices either, even though people sometimes assume that.
We’re just over here… doing our thing… trying to raise good humans like everyone else.
10. We wouldn’t trade our homeschooling lifestyle for anything.
Not even on the hard days.
And there are hard days.
Days with doubts.
Days with frustration.
Days where everything feels heavier than we expected.
But there are also those moments, the ones that don’t show up on a checklist,
When something finally clicks… I call them the “a-ha moments”.
When a conversation goes deeper than you planned.
When you realize you’re right there for it… all of it.
We love being with our kids.
We love learning alongside them.
We love this slightly chaotic, always-changing, never-boring life we’ve built.
And even with the ups and downs… the worries and the opinions…
We wouldn’t trade it.
Not for anything.
We love this crazy roller-coaster ride called homeschooling.
Homeschool moms are not trying to prove anything. We’re doing what works for our families.
And like every other parent out there, homeschool moms are figuring it out as we go.
And if you’ve made it this far…
I just want to say this:
Homeschool moms carry a lot. More than most people see.
So this next part? It’s just for you.
Mother’s Day Giveaway
Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re anything like me, you know that moms don’t always make time to celebrate themselves. Whether you’re a work-from-home mom, a homeschool mama juggling lesson plans and laundry, or just someone who gives everything to her family every single day — this one is for you.
That’s why I’ve teamed up with a wonderful group of bloggers to bring you a special Mother’s Day Giveaway, and I think you’re going to love it.
We’re giving away five $100 gift cards — and the best part is that you get to choose which store yours is for. Whatever makes your heart happy, this gift card is yours to spend exactly the way you want.
The giveaway runs from April 29th through May 8th, so you’ll want to get your entries in before it closes at 11:59 PM Pacific Time on May 8th.
To enter, simply use the Rafflecopter form below. There are several entry options because each blogger in this group has contributed to make this giveaway possible — and the more entries you complete, the better your chances of winning!
We hope this is a little bright spot in your May, mama. You deserve it. 💗
Giveaway ends May 8th at 11:59 pm Pacific Time. Winners will be drawn and emailed the following business day, Monday, May 11th. The winners will have 48 hours to respond to the email to claim the prize. By entering this giveaway, you will be added to the email lists of the participating bloggers. Please be sure to read the Terms & Conditions upon entering the giveaway.
