You vent your frustration by thoughtlessly pounding your fist on your custom Brazilian rosewood desk, causing it to explode in a flurry of splinters. You decide to calm yourself by sailing your third largest yacht around your private island with no fewer than two former Miss America finalists (from the past five years’ pageants, of course).
We hate to break this to you, but for the first time in your life … you are wrong. You see, “selling out” is when Al Pacino dances to a Dunkin’ Donuts jingle. What we’re doing is called “offering fine, indispensable merchandise for sale so we can pay our website’s upkeep fees and save our journalists from having to moonlight as bat-removal technicians.” And bats, as you may or may not know, are teeming with infectious diseases.
So we hope you’ll support our mission to bring you real, uncensored news by ordering our hoodies, T-shirts, mugs, stickers, and anything else we can fit our logos on. It’s all provided by Libertas Bella, the second-best website on the internet which supports pro-liberty organizations like our very own.
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