Watch out, kiddies! Due to your horrible personal emissions of greenhouse gases, CHRISTMAS ITSELF may have to be cancelled.
Santa Claus himself has presented the terrible news.
A rather alarming-looking, dirty Santa Claus is filmed in a dark room, uttered the words in such a grim, funereal tone that you almost expect to see the muzzle of a terrorist’s gun pointed at his head from the edge of your screen, forcing him to make the shocking claims.
For some time now, melting ice here at the North Pole has made our operations and our day-to-day life intolerable and impossible.
And there may be no alternative but to cancel Christmas.
I have written personally to President Obama, President Putin, all world leaders. Sadly, my letters have been met with indifference.
Needless to say, these individuals are now at the top of my naughty list.
If you thought the Elf on the Shelf, spying on children while they play, was creepy, wait until you see Greenpeace’s version of Santa. See the whole disturbing video below:
This disgusting piece of kid-targeted propaganda has been brought to you by Greenpeace, as part of their offensive “Save Santa’s Home“ campaign, sure to terrify little children around the globe into lowering their wee carbon footprints.
Greenpeace, of course, refuses to let the facts get in the way of a good story. They fail to take into account that polar ice is actually at a 35-year high as of last Saturday. In fact, Antartica just noted the lowest temperature ever recorded on the planet – 135.8 degrees Farenheit.
The global warming flag-wavers at Greenpeace deserve a huge lump of coal in their stockings this Christmas. But they’d better not burn it…because that will cause even more polar ice cap deterioration.
Kimberly Paxton is a staff writer for the Daily Sheeple, where this first appeared. She is based out of upstate New York.
The Fight to Control the Global Climate